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Parenting is tricky. You try to give your kids the advice they need. You try to hold back and let them make mistakes. Then you figure out the mistakes may hurt them or cause larger problems, so you jump back in, breaking their trust, making them mad.
I find myself longing for the little kid problems of years past. The skinned knees, broken toys and "She's looking at me funny" whines. Sure, I was an exhausted parent, waiting patiently for the terrible twos, tough threes (etc) to be over.
"I can't wait for my kids to be older!" I would exclaim. "It's got to be easier than this!"
Be careful what you wish for.
Parenting will continue to be tricky. I don't expect this job to get any easier. I hope that I can continue to bounce ideas and vent my frustrations to my friends. (Thanks, Michelle, for today!)
I know that the more I listen calmly (a TOTAL challenge for me) and react first with love and understanding, the girls will confide in me so we can solve the problem together.
Wish me luck!
Totally agree with you! As much as I love, love, love being a parent, it's he hardest job in the world! And the bigger they get, the bigger the problems! Yikes! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI think you are on track with your thinking -- as hard as it is to do!! Don't let them see that initial reaction of "What?!?" but rather {insert here} love and understanding. I'm always there to listen, try and offer support or words of advice, but know I'm taking notes -- and still one day I'll be coming to back to you! Hang in there. You are doing great!
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you! I feel like just when I'm getting the hang of it they throw me for a loop. Mine are 23, 19 and nearly 16. I just pray they don't all have troubles simultaneously! But you are on the right track, trying to keep a balance. Give them slack on the rope and then gently pull them in. Letting go a little more every time. So hard to watch and measure what's the right move. That's the job. Good luck we're right here with you!
ReplyDeleteChris, I truly feel for you (and other parents) who are dealing with teenagers. It's not an easy job and there is no instruction manual (even though many of us have been through it). Michelle stated it well, so I ditto her comments. Sometimes we just have to let them fail so that they learn from their mistakes, but letting them know that we are always there to listen and help. Tomorrow will be a better day.
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