Hanging with the Hawkeye #SOLC17

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On Friday night, we hopped in the car and headed to Iowa City, home of my oldest, Lindsey.  She's in her junior year as a Communications Studies/Political Science major at the U of Iowa.

It was really great to spend time with this kid.  We ate well, and we shopped.  We discussed the full gamut:  politics, her campus involvement, her classes, her possibilities for a summer internship, and her plans for the alternate spring break trip she's facilitating.

When we tried to get a word in edgewise or talk about other things, she pointedly changed the subject, "Let's get back to discussing me!"

Now some would think she was rude, but she wasn't. I get this kid.  I may be wrong, but it was her way of saying,

I am feeling a bit stressed, please let me vent and strategize.

I haven't seen you in person for awhile, and I need to get you all caught up.

I need you to validate (in a small way) all the things I am involved with as well as all my plans.

We did leave after lunch on Saturday because it is midterm week.  Lindsey had lots of papers due on Monday, and we didn't want to be in her way of completing anything.

There's nothing like seeing your kid at college, especially after their first two years are behind them.  My daughter has become an individual (see, Lindsey - I got the message!) who is capable, empowered, involved and insistent on making her mark on the world.  We parents get to ask questions and hear the details, but she makes all the decisions.  

Systematic approach, reluctantly

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When Lindsey returned after a summer of working at the U of Iowa orientation program, we tried to contain her stuff to one corner of the family room.  We knew she needed time and space to decompress from her job.  Being in charge of a group of incoming first years or transfer students, two or three times per week, wears you out.

I decided not to nag her (this is a skill I'm working on) about dealing with her stuff.  I did ask a few questions and encourage her to make some decisions about what she would bring to school, and what she could let go, as she enters her junior year.

Lindsey pointed out to me (very diplomatically) that when her amount of stuff was questioned or looked at with dismay (pointing at you, dad), she got upset.  She felt that we were holding her back from building an independent life outside of our house.

Huh.  I never thought of it that way.

Nine days of relaxing, creating door decorations for her floor, and visiting with friends passed by.  Some stuff got organized.  We realized that moving day (it's tomorrow!) was quickly arriving.

Last night we made a plan for today.  I would not work on homework or go to school.  She and I would pack her stuff and place it in the truck.  No errands, limited phone time, lots of music, no lectures.  We decided to pack item stored in the basement, then the items in the family room, and finish with the clothes in her bedroom.

I'm happy to report that the plan went extremely well.  I let Lindsey decide where to place her stuff in the truck and how to pack most of it.  I was merely the assistant, in charge of laundry, hanging clothes and dishes.  I offered a few suggestions, but that was it.

Parenting young adults is a whole new world.  They want to be seen as functioning grown ups.  We parents want to help them navigate life smoothly, avoiding some of the bigger pitfalls we remember from our past.  Hoping to help them realize what stuff is important.

It's an exciting time around here!  Lindsey's younger sister leaves for college in two weeks.  I wonder how packing her stuff and launching will turn out.

Passion for positive changes #SOL16 30/31

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It's election day at the University of Iowa.  The students are deciding who will run their student government today.  My oldest daughter, Lindsey, has been a key part of getting her candidates elected.  When she started college, it was as a business major.  Then she figured out that her passion is more about people and policy.  She then changed to a double major in communications and political science.  She's drawn to others who want to create positive changes for people, the environment and life in general.  

This campaign has been a learning process.  Lindsey has figured out what's important to her, and she inspires the people around her to stand up and speak up for what they believe in.  She and the rest of her party have made solid decisions about their platform: support for students (especially mental health care), safety, diversity, inclusive initiatives, and more.

I know this campaign has been time consuming, stressful and lots of hard work.  I know my daughter has grown emotionally and figured out more of her strengths.  I've worked hard to keep myself from checking in with her constantly and making sure she's eating, sleeping and doing her homework (#teachermomproblem).

I couldn't be prouder of this kid.  I wish her BLOC party (Better Lives on Campus) much success in their endeavors to win the election and make positive changes to the university.

I am running for UISG senator because I see this opportunity as way to ensure all students' concerns are being heard and needs are being met. I hope through this position I will be able to work towards a more inclusive and supportive university.  I'm ultimately working to give back and better the Hawkeye community, a community that has already given so much to me.

Many feelings #SOL16 28/31

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Confident.

That's how I felt as I walked behind Allison, my high school senior, today.  I watched her long strides, walking with purpose, talking with our friend, Kelsey, talking details about college life at Illinois State U.

Quiet.

I stayed quiet as Allison met with an advisor about accommodations.  She asked the questions and got the answers.  I politely answered direct questions and made small talk with the advisor about iPad apps.

Proud.

I feel proud of my daughter.  She's overcome some challenges to get to this campus.  She will have to work hard to keep up with studies, social life and time management.  I think she can do it and so does her dad and the rest of our family and friends.

Grateful.

I'm grateful for friends that will hold me up as I send my baby to college this fall.  

Tired.

We walked 6 miles around campus today! I can't wait to soak my feet tonight!

College reality sandwich

Yesterday my younger daughter, Allison, and I braved a snowstorm to drive to Iowa City to visit my oldest daughter, Lindsey.  My husband did his best to encourage us to leave EARLY for the trip, but since we are not as organized and time conscious, we ended up dealing with pretty crummy road conditions.

It's fun to visit Lindsey is her "natural habitat" (as I call it).  She has embraced the college scene with open arms, becoming involved in campus activities, res hall fun, political events and orientation team.  As she gave us her schedule for today alone, I tried not to cringe.  Her plate is super full, but she's managing it all.  I am confident that she's eating and sleeping and working on homework,  I know she will call or text when she needs a bit of encouragement.  I'm glad she's young!

Our other motivation for coming was to give Allison a taste of college life.  She recently was accepted to her top college pick (very exciting!!) and this trip gives her a preview of dorm living, food, and classes.  I dropped both girls at Lindsey's dorm last night and thanked her roommate for letting Allison crash there.  

This afternoon I will meet up with the girls and see how the experiment went.  Allison had all her college info out last night and was making a list of housing needs.  I hope she got out and socialized with the other students on the floor.  I hope she can see herself as a successful student this fall.  I know she can go away and make college her own - I think she just needs to be confident in her decision.  I'm pleased that Lindsey was able to host Allison and give her a chance to test drive the college scene!

My Girls SOLC #27

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Allison got home from NYC yesterday, exhausted and happy to be home. I was proud that she made the trip on her own!  (Whew!). Lindsey has been back at Iowa this week, getting back into the habit of studying after spending a week at home on her spring break.

Today Allison and I jumped in the car for a road trip to Iowa City.  We have been traveling to college campuses during spring break for a few years now, so this trip felt right.  Tomorrow we will watch Lindsey play club lacrosse against Iowa State.  (Go Hawkeyes!).

We did the usual car ride routine, taking turns at the wheel and singing at the top of our lungs.  It was nice to hear all about NYC.    Our playlist was 100% Taylor Swift songs this trip.  She is quite the storyteller, and we love her music.  The conversation turned to what TSwift songs describe current and past relationships and situations. We had some good laughs and I pretended to be ill when Alli gushed about her special guy.

Tonight we enjoyed dinner at a local place and were joined by two of Lindsey's friends.  We grabbed cupcakes from Molly's (yum!!) and are now watching all the March Madness games.

I realized today how old these girls are (halfway to 19 and 17!) and how fast the years fly by.  I do treasure the time I spend with them...even when they argue.  Gotta love 'em!

A Few Thoughts for the College Girls

Dear College Girls,

(Anne, Chloe, Katie L., Katie S., Kelsey, Lindsey & Mikayla... this is for you!)

Congratulations on meeting your big goal!  You're in COLLEGE now!

WOO HOO!

HOORAY!

OH CRAP!

I remember sitting in my dorm room on the first night.  I had moved in early to attend a retreat with the honors college (Surprised?  Me, too!).  It was dark.  It was verrrrrryyyy quiet.  I had already talked with my back-home boyfriend on the phone.  My parents and brother were gone.

It was very lonely.  It was 1987.  No cell phones.  No social media.  No Netflix.  Wahhhhh!

Fast forward two days later.  I had fun on the retreat and made a new friend.  I met three girls on my floor that were juniors (they had lots of survival tips).  My roommate wasn't bad.  The girls next door were nice.  College was much less lonely!

The most terrifying thing to do in your life is something new.  Something unknown.  I think you are all really brave for heading to new towns on your own to follow your dreams!

I couldn't write a blog post for you COLLEGE ladies without giving some advice.  I know you like it LOVE IT when I give advice!  Here goes:

1. Don't spend the whole year in your dorm room.  Leave your door open when you're up for some socializing.  Talk with people at the sinks and in the food lines.  Be yourself - you will make lots of friends!
2. GO TO CLASS, even when you're too tired, too crabby, too uninterested.  I got a B in Introduction to Anthropology by going to class, taking minimal notes and doing the Northern Star crossword puzzle each lecture.
3. Join a club, organization, sport or group.  If you don't love it, pick something else, but try to be involved on campus or in the community. It will make the college experience more worthwhile!
4. Get a pretty planner and write down your assignments, tests, and projects.
   (My lack of organization still bites me in the a** on a regular basis. You will excel at this!)
5. Enjoy yourselves.  Really.  Most adults would go back to the college years in a New York minute.  Many of us moms are SUPER jealous and want to live vicariously through you. But we promise not to.  This is your turn.  

Be careful, have fun, and love every minute of these years, even when it gets tough.  We (moms, dads, friends, siblings, former teachers) are ALL here for you.  Just text/call/write when you need something (read:  I will send you chocolate).  We understand you have lots of mixed feelings on an hourly basis.  

Dear College Girls, you WILL be AWESOME!

Kid President knows it!  We know it, too!

  

Senior Summer

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Two Writing Teachers

It's summer.

Time for fun, sunshine, travel, reading, relaxing.

It's the summer before senior year.

Time for college visits, questions from family, decisions, job hunting, summer reading.

It's supposed to be a fun, carefree time

but

deadlines and decisions loom.

As the parent, I try to provide advice, but I find myself keeping my thoughts to myself.

I'm providing facts and guiding questions.

I'm not the one choosing a school or a job or when to do my summer assignments.

I don't have to live with the decisions... just the person who has to make them.

It's stressful to watch, but that's my place.  On the sidelines.  Coaching.

She's in the game.