Musings from a middle school reading specialist. I encourage my students to read, talk, write, and have fun!
I parent two amazing young-adult daughters with my husband of 30+ years.

April 9, 2013

Alone time

I realized today that I've never lived alone.  I lived with my parents and brother until I went to college.  I had between one and four roommates every year at school.  I got married during college (child bride, LOL!).  We have two children.

I knew at an early age that I like to be surrounded by people.  It was more fun to have lots of kids on the swingset or in our small pool.  I was constantly asking my best friend, Beth, "Can we have Sami play, too?  Is Jeannette home?"  I think Beth was content with just the two of us to have a dance party or play with our Barbies, but I loved having a big group of friends over.

In college, I had a hard time studying by myself.  I would find myself leaving the door open if my roommate left for the weekend so people on the floor would stop by.  I studied in the library or in the common room.  Again, the more the merrier!

This year (at the ripe old age of 43), I've figured out that there is some peace of mind found when I am by myself.  I'm finally comfortable with alone time.  I'm choosing more often than not to have lunch in my classroom with a book or my Twitter feed.  I'm enjoying quiet evenings when my girls are at their activities or out with friends.  I don't mind that my husband is traveling.

I'm beginning to relish the quiet.  I can calm my mind and think through what needs to be done.  I can reflect on my day.  I can make decisions for the week. Reading and knitting can be done without distractions.

I almost had a solo night at home recently.  The girls were off to their respective friends' houses, with the possibilities for sleepovers.  My husband had left town.  I would be alone in the creaky house (with the parakeet for company).  I was excited, I was bummed.

Then my phone chimed with a text message.  "Can my friends stay over at our house?"

Alone time canceled.  Maybe next time!

8 comments:

  1. Alone time is wonderful - for awhile. But we so need to be surrounded by family and friends. My uncle passed away a year ago and my aunt made the comment to me "I've never lived alone" and she is 85. It's sad because she has no family around her and she has always kept to herself. There are so many people, especially the elderly, who are truly alone. We need to reach out to each of them. Enjoy your alone time, but relish your together time!

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  2. I love my alone time too, but looking at my situation, I've got more together time scheduled than alone time! I think small pockets of that alone time are good for the soul too - time to think, process, wonder, do nothing but read, relax, rejuvenate. Cherish those times together as a family because in the coming years that together time will be dwindling with college and boyfriends and . . .

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  3. I'm an only child, so I relish my alone time. While I love being with my family and friends, I treasure the moments I have that are uninterrupted so I can read, write, and just think! (And the occasional time spent doing a facial, which never seems to happen anymore, is also nice.)

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  4. Oh I'm so glad you have found the wonderment of alone time! Trust me as much as I love being with people...I love my alone time just as much!

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  5. Alone time is a phenomena I've lived with pretty much my whole adult life. I've never been married and was alone for many years before I adopted the boys.Sometimes I don't mind at all- I love reading, don't mind doing stuff like movies or the theater alone if I can't find anyone to go along. Now I'm looking at completely alone time again, starting this summer when my younger son moves out, and not sure I am going to like it, at least as a full time endeavor. Like you, I'm always glad when the boys call and want to bring people over.

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  6. I am an only child as well. I have always treasure my alone time. Lately, however, there have been times when I have wished a little less alone time!

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  7. I crave my alone time! It seems I can never get enough. I'm learning to enjoy a house full while I have it. In a few short years I may have more than enough alone time.

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  8. I'm an only child, so I grew up very well at ease with my alone time. Sometimes I still need it now, but I'm more likely to seek people out -- I always eat lunch in the workroom with others, and I don't like the rare days when my husband isn't around in the evening. (I like my alone time in the afternoon though!) It was interesting to hear your journey.

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