My classroom is not a quiet, orderly place.
Students are constantly moving, thinking, talking, reading and writing.
I do my best to help my students find success.



March 16, 2013

New friends SOLC #16

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Two Writing Teachers
My youngest made a positive transition from junior high to the high school back in August.  She made the pom squad, had the right class placements and knew lots of people because she's a friendly, outgoing, silly kid.

Now that spring has almost sprung, poms season has finished.  She has more down time.  More time to think and text and chat.  She spent two weeks feeling down and dark.  Her grades slipped, she felt alone, she didn't know why.

We attended a meeting a school. Talked about more providing academic challenges.  Discussed changing a few things so her peer group would be mixed.  She needs positive, goal-minded people around her.

This week she's been more positive, more willing to try new activities - those usually out of her comfort zone.  She's mentioning new friends.  Girls that are in band, and involved in the community.  Girls that accept her silly, upbeat nature and don't call her weird.

I'm hoping my youngest will continue to find the right people for her circle of friends.  She is a loyal friend, but she continues to be let down and sometimes shunned by others.

I truly hope her new friendships bloom, and she will grow from her experiences.

15 comments:

  1. How difficult these teenage years are. I'm so glad that your oldest took the initiative and reached out to new outlets, to find new friends and activities. Your youngest probably won't follow in her sister's footsteps, but I'm sure with your help and encouragement, she too will find her way. Keep an open line of communication and let them both know that you are there to listen and care.

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    1. Thanks for your words, Judy. I want to be their advocate and push them in the right direction. Here's hoping her path through life isn't too rocky!

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  2. She will. She has a very supportive parent, it sounds like. One of the things I find very difficult as a parent of teenagers is to know when to help and when not to help. I want my kids to grow up to be able to handle all of the problems life throws at them, and if I don't let them start doing some of that now, they won't be able to when they really do have to. It sounds like you may be struggling with the same thing.

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  3. You describe the ever-changing saga and angst of those HS years - perhaps the best years for only a few - and only then when it is in retrospect! Sounds like she has a mom behind her all the way!

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    1. So true that they are the best years for few. We all had our trials and tribulations. Hope I can be helpful in her quest!

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  4. She is testing the waters and you are there to throw her the life ring.

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    1. Great analogy! I feel like a waterlogged lifeguard some days, and others - I can sit and sunbathe! :)

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  5. Finding true friends is such a difficult and exciting aspect of being a teen! So many of my students are struggling with this same issue right now. I just keep trying to let them know that they will find friends who like them for who they really are, and those are the friends they want to keep!

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    1. Good advice! High school is a place full of all different people. The kids need to find others who will lift them up.

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  6. She is lucky to have parents she trusts to help her navigate this transition. So much of high school is finding out who we are as people. I see my students change and grow up when I'm lucky enough to teach them more than once. A good part of that change is figuring out how to balance and to find friends who support the individual beyond a first shared interest.

    Thanks for sharing this.

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    1. Balance and shared interests - I will have to remember those tips for her!

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  7. Ugh. It's tough. She is her own person, trying to figure out who she is and what she wants. And really? We don't know all that until after high school and even after college! I'm glad to hear that the few changes have cheered her up and she is making positive choices!

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  8. That teenager thing is so, so, so hard! And yes, I agree with you, friends matter tremendously! So does a supportive family, which your daughter definitely has! Have you read REVIVING OPHELIA? Really insightful (I thought anyway!)look at teenage girls.

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  9. My own teenage daughter is navigating through high school, too. My biggest challenge right now is figuring out the boyfriend relationship. He's a nice guy, but I'm not ready for dating, especially as I'm waiting up for her to get home from a concert with him--and his grandparents.

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  10. I think this is the hardest time for a parent when you see your child having a rough down time... and I agree friends are so very important during these years. The love and support from you and your hubby will help get her through the tough times...good for her for spreading her wings and looking for friends that hopefully will be as loyal as she is towards them.

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